writing

I don't feel like i'm progressing. I feel the same. I feel like Allan. I feel like nothing. Nothing is Allan. I'm going to school next semester, the summer semester. I will hope to feel progress in going to school over the summer. I have to maintain the hours at work in order to pay for everything that i have to pay for. Money is short. Hopefully i can save for a car. I probably won't be able to do that on my own. I feel as though getting a car is more difficult for me than for anyone else. Everyone else has a car. I shouldn't compare myself to others, but we do it anyway in order to see our progress in the world.

Recently I have been writing less and less. I wish i could write more. Wishing doesn't just happen, it works like a function. One thing happens in order for the next to happen and then the next and then the next. One thing after another, and it all just falls into place. Before you know it, your wish has come true.

Be Yourself

It's all that you can do.

I

I hate myself and want to die.

futures

i got a second job

11/hr answering phones and cleaning tables.
not a bad job
not a bad job at all...
I'm going to try to save money and travel. Not travel to ridiculous places like japan or anything... just flying anywhere and stayin at a hotel. that'd be cool. it would be fun. I still want that iphone though haha.

get a lot of money
play in a casino
if you win dont keep playing
if you lose stop playing
try again when you get more money
win big you switch tables
Never think I can win my money back
that's how you lose

Marlon Petzold

List of things i want

Learn Basic Strategy - Blackjack

Elocution lessons - Become Well-Spoken

Soundproof the room - So i can talk on the phone lol

Get an iPhone

Feel whole again.

What do i want?

Who am i?
has become,
What do i want?

This isn't a very easy question.
Questions are not easy on account of all the possible answers,
especially with questions like these.

What,
Do i want?


What Do,
I want?

What do I,
want?

What do I want?
What Do I want?
What do I want?
What do I Want?



A purpose.